I just realized i actually have a harder time opening up than i thought. I'm really a personal person and this blogging thing has only just made me realize how bad i have it. There are actually only two people in my real world that know i have a blog. One has no access to it, at least that's what i think, and the other, "my friend" i blogged about, i doubt can remember the web address. Yet i realize that i can't open up on the blog; i would rather blog bout someone else's story or gist than mine. Hmmm, Interesting.

Anyway, while doing some blog rounds, i realized one thing a lot of we female bloggers have in common is our male isssues, and the funniest of late is that of those looking for "life partners." I read a post from vera's blog and i completely share the sentiments. Thanks Vera for keeping it too real. (Those when are you getting married, or when is your turn questions are alot nerving.)



What's funny is that i've seen and heard my engagement being planned infront of me without me being engaged. My uncle, aunt, and i had just gotten back from one of many weddings, i guess this one must have been a really nice one, can't even remember myself but i do remember while we sat analyzing everyone and everything that went down, the conversation drifted to how they would do it different for my wedding. It was so funny it was ridiculous; the conversation went from how the back of the house would be decorated, the canopies to be rented, to the colors of the day, the "elere" as we yorubas call the entertainers to perform, and all the good stuff involved with weddings. All of this planning going on without me being engaged o. What i'm i talking about, infact without me having a boyfriend. Sad huh?



I understand they are anxious like every other parent but abeg, can they cut me some slack. Every guy friend that comes looking for me has become a potential in my house and my uncle is quick to ask what kinda friend after the initial introduction. Atleast, i like his style, his quick to ask in front of the two of us-it's ok, i always prepare them guys ready if they are coming to the house for the first time. My aunt on the other hand waits until we're alone to ask what the deal is with the guy. Of-course i'm quick to say we're just friends, then she begins her short lecture on being a good wife, and the fact that we women just have to deal with men the way they are, they don't have to be perfect, just try to work with what you have...blah, blah, blah.



And then there are the other uncles and aunties out there, including those ones that are not even real aunties and uncles, the by default ones. Those ones that often expect you to bring some dude to an event or the other and when that does not happen they ask "Oko e da?" like Oko translates to husband, abeg who put ring on my finger? Then they also want to introduce you to some random dude they believe will make a good husband or that they are convinced is a good match for you; meanwhile i'm thinking to myself why the dude can't find his own babe. One of several reasons, his a tat bit too old, (forgive me for this), but maybe his razz, or he just cannot talk to a female by himself. Oh yeah, there is also that uncle that asks any and everybody if they have a good and intelligent younger brother, cousin, or friend that is looking for a wife. Maybe they've not heard me say it loud enough, I CAN FIND MY OWN MAN, AND I WILL!! Just waiting for God to do His thing!

On the other hand, it's funny how there are still the ones that believe that i'm so secretive and hiding the guy. Common now, i'm getting old, at my age why would i be doing under J with any guy? Although, the rate everyone around me is desperately waiting for it, i may just keep the guy on the downlow for real. Like some guy also told me, "i don't look like the kind that does not have a boyfriend. I'm actually considering writing "No man" on my head to church on for sundays. Not like there are any eligible bachs' at my church sha, but just a thought, would like to see the reults.

I've also heard that i'm too fast in judging guys and condemning them. This i know is not true really. Ok, so i like smart people, is that my fault? I can't stand a guy that can't keep up a conversation, or a guy that his conversation is centered around the same boring stuff, so i'm into nigerian politics? What is wrong with that? If you don't follow it, it's ok but don't give me a dumb look like i'm out of my mind. I say you're "cynical" and you're asking me what does that mean? or our conversation can only be sweet when it's in yoruba, now that's the worse one of all. I've actually had a guy tell me he prefers to speak yoruba than english, silly, that's because you can't speak good english.

Ok, i started this post with something else in mind and i think it's taken another direction and it's just a rant now. I can't be bothered to go back and edit either, it's become a long post too and that's because i'm in the library and too tired to actually study so i thought i'ld write...

Nursery Rhymes

Yesterday, my cousin reminded me of the nursery rhymes from back in the days. Unfortunately, kids in yankee are not taught a lot of these rhymes these days. Anyway, she pointed out something and it actually gave us a real crack up. The fact that those songs/rhymes had an element of violence in them. Examples:



Jack and Jill went up the hill...: Abeg, why does Jack have to break his neck?

Goosey Goosey Gander: Why did they have to throw the old man that could not say his prayer down the stairs: "i took him by the left leg, and threw him down the stairs."

Rock-a-bye-baby: Please why is anyone rocking a baby by the tree top, surely that can't be soothing.

Three blind mice: Why do they have to chase the farmer's wife and then she had to get all poster on them and cut off their tails with a knife.

Ever famous Humpty Dumpty: The poor thing broke into too many pieces. (My sister has quite a nice drawing she did of this, i should put it up, if i can get a hold of it)

I also remember a song from secondary school in nigeria, don't remember all the words, but it had something to do with going to jail: "take a message to Mary, but don't tell where i am, take a message to Mary, but don't tell her i'm in jail; you can tell her i've gone to see the world, tell her i'll be back someday, but tell she better not wait for me, but don't tell her i'm in jail..." Any reason why this person was in jail?

Anyway, just thought all of these were funny, no wonder America is not teaching their kids these songs, many would agree that they don't need it at the rate they are going; 6 year old getting chased by police after stealing school bus, 5 year old killing younger sister, 6 year old stealing grandma's car to go to get something to eat. Now, this story is funny, 6 year old boy really wanted food from some eatery, took his granma's car, transfered his car seat to the front, belted himself and just drove off until he ran into an electric pole.

What a wonderful world we live in!!!

Really can't think of a good title

So, i'm at work and this new indian lady is reading palms, of-course them nosy people hear want to hear what they have to say about everyone and i'm coerced into it. Now i must say i absolutely do not believe in palm reading but it was interesting hearing her. Right in front of them all i was quick to reject all the nonsense in the mighty name of Jesus. But in all, i guess i'm going to have some good money somewhere along the line, i have a strong aura about me and my faith line is really good, i'm still going to read some more, even though i've convinced myself that no PHD in my future, i mean, me is completely tired of this reading business-masters i believe is the height of it for me, and like my aunt keeps begging my uncle to stop encouraging me to do Phd so that i can get married and have kids.

Now, the funny one is that she currently sees no love/marriage line. I don't think some of these people understand heaven principles sha. It's o.k, i doubt they've heard bout some serious "fire" prayers that make things happen or our mountain top prayers. With those kinda support, i'm bound to have my own husband. Oh, yeah, so she sees only one child and another half line which means the child was supposed but never came into existence.(abortion or stillborn) Me i don't know....and my life line is actually long too. (Funny).

Once again, i rebuke the devourer over my life in Jesus name.

Period

I really think there should be a law that says females can be off work maximum 3 days during their monthly.

Unfortunately i'm one of those people that have bad cramps and people around me know. I'm at work cramping and no one can beg me to get off my seat for any reason because i'm too weak and my back hurts too much for me to get up.

For this reason, i think i should be able to take off work without worrying. It should be a labor law for real...

Two posts in one day, achievement for me.

Two days ago...
Man: Hey girl how you doing?
Me: Hey long time, how have you been? daughter?, and your wife?
Man: Everyone is good.
Man: So you seeing someone now?
Me: Oh Yeah, about time rite?
Man: It's all good, you happy?
Me: Of-course
Man: You sure?
Me: yeah i'm sure
Man: Oh just checking, anyway, you looking good as usual, take care o.k
Me: yeah you too

Today...

phone rings

Me: goodafternoon, blah blah blah, may i help you?
Man: Yes, can i speak to s.chic?
Me: This is she
Man: Hey girl, it's mE
Me: Oh hi, what's up?
Man: Nothing much
Man: Hey, you know J's mom and i seperated a while ago
Me: Oh really, didn't know that, sorry bout that
Mna: Yeah, you know how things are
Me: Hmm, i don't, i'm not married yet.
Man: Anyway, just wanted to give you my number, you know, if you wanted to hang out sometime or have dinner you can give me a call. Send me a text with your phone so i don't have to call the job anymore ok?
Me: oh sure, what's the number?

At this point i'm pretending to be writing the number

Man: Ok, so give me buzz then, and we'll hang out, have get drinks. I'll stop by to see you when i come around there again ok.?
Me: Sure, yeah.

Biko! Ogini! egbami! a whole s.chic? I'm sure there are still single men out there without wives or kids for me to come and be settling for such mess. It is well sha!

My Friend

Still in line with my just writing series, had a funny conversation with a dear friend of mine (sweetie, u know this is about you since you're the only one with access to this blog in my real world, so abeg permit me to do this... i'm still pondering bout our conversation.)

Anyway, So i'm chatting with a very dear friend of mine when he says "s.chic i have a confession." In all my vainness i'm thinking "Oh Lord, i hope his not falling for me!" when he hits me with a bigger one with " I have desires for other women."

Now, my friend is a married man. I was short of words (very unusual for me.) After a minute i thought about it and started to understand his plight. (ok maybe not understand sha, but have an idea.)

Let me just say i really admire my friend for admitting this fact though, his guy friends are surprised his still not cheating on his wife especially being in nigeria and we all know how some of our young ladies parade themselves and his in the entertainment/fashion industry. He knows it's wrong and his been controlling those desires but not sure how long it will last. A big part of the problem is coming from the bedroom (if you know what i mean.) His wife is a beautiful woman and they've got two wonderful little cuties. She's very conservative and the kind you want to have at home.

My friend admits that one of the problem is that his wife is conservative to the extent that a "lot" of things he wants to do, he finds it hard doing in the bedroom because he can't be too wild. Don't want to go into too much details, but my little two cents, (as usual) is that he teaches his wife what he wants to do to her and what he wants her to do to him. I strongly believe that as long as you're doing things in your marriage bed, then there are no limits or boundaries to what can be done. We actually had a discussion about this at young adults fellowship one-time, the topic has something to do with oral sex being right or wrong even if you're doing it to your husband/wife. At the end of the day, those that stayed firm on the ground that it was alrite still did not change, and some decided it was sinful.

But on another note, i guess my question is that is this desires by men helpable or not? I've asked a couple of guys and they all seem to agree that it's normal for men to have those desires, acting up on them is a different thing. For this reason, many say that atleast 90% of men will cheat on there wife one time or the other during marriage because they just can't help it. God Help us all...

Just Writing

Finally took that bloody exam... well i won't say much until i get my "pass" or "fair."

Now i can blog more, then again i doubt i can ever really be consistent, i admire those who dedicate time to this thing.

Anyway, i do have a lot to talk about but my train of thought is scattered sef so as you can tell already i'm just rambling.

It's funny how this life works sha (i need to stop this "sha" habit) but anyway, my very good friend "J" is desperating looking to get married. I think desperate is an understatement for how she's looking but i can't seem to find a betterword to describe her situation. At our young age, she's convinced we must have a problem or that their are external forces (now, that angle always gets me laughing, "get thee behind me satan!") behind our not currently seeing someone. For her, last 6-8 months is the longest she's been without being with someone and she has a big problem letting people know that; as in she's ashamed to let people know that she's single. The rationale behind that is truly beyond moi. So "J" has had many potentials along the way including her last boyfriend, Yemisi. I thought Yemisi was really cool but not ready for that kinda commitment that "J" wanted. The chap was still trying to complete undergrad degree and figure things out. But of-course my dear friend is ahead of the game. She's got an MBA already and she's got a pretty cool job too so i guess that relationship didn't last but for a while.
After Yemisi, they've been a series of potentials but none that she got into a relationship with. There was Seun which she declared her love to but homeboy only saw her as a sister, there was this other chap who is not nigerian but is actually really cool, but it's a no go area for my dear friend because her family is very very, i repeat, very very traditional to the core. Now the funniest one bros K. Yeah, another church bros. Now, for some crazy reason my dear friend is beginning to like bros K, but she's ashamed to say it out too. Today i finally got her to say what she's been ashamed to say. First, let me explain my dear friend. "J" is a beautiful black girl, tall, slim, (the kind they call "lepa"). "J" dresses to kill, she's one of those that can't be caught not doing it up, or having a bad hair day unlike me. "J" does not wear flip flops or slippers out for any reason it's always got to be something fancy. I have to add though that she has a wonderful heart and a beautiful spirit; Oh, she's also in the choir, infact she's like the choir mistress or something of the sort. So, bros K is not a bad looking chap sha, but not to mince words, his simply the yoruba speaking type. Today while chatting with my friend she finally confessed that the social status level was way different, there seem to be a generational gap thing going on as well even though the guy is only 31 but acts like his 50. The guy loves oldies like sunny ade and obey (which i see nothing wrong with becos i like too) but she can't handle that either. It would take too much to "polish" him up inspite of the fact that the guy is an accountant. I confession had me cracking the twist is that she actually likes him though, his witty, caring, and she actually believes he'll be a good husband.

Now the dilema is can she let go with all the rest of the stuff and be with him or just let go of him completely. Left to me, i truly have no idea and can't advice. I've given my own two cents though which is that whatever makes her happy and at peace is what she should do! abi?

O.k spent more time doing this than i thot, guess i'll have to go on with my rantings larra.

Random Nonsense

If you were writing your own vows, what would you write/say?

TIME

s.chic, i know you want to blog but just can't find the time to do so. Wait until after your exam next week, and then you can start putting up proper gist/stuff on your blog...