One of my fondest memories is from primary school, as some of us know it, and elementary school for others. I had just switched to my family's school(no! my family does not own the school, but all my siblings, including my brother who is now close to 40, went to that school) in primary two when i met the girl that became my best friend. Co-incidentally, both our immediate older brothers had been best friends as well.
We split ways at the end of primary school as she went on to a private school and i was shipped far away to one of those federal girls school in a town i had never heard before that time. Of-course we made new sets of friends, but everytime i came back home we got in touch but i guess that relationship never went back to the way we had it.
I actually attribute a part of whom i am today to my primary school best friend for some reason. I believe the year was 1995. My friend invited me to a christian camp that she attended the previous year, and since i was still trying to get that old relationship we had, i was willing to go to another town and spend a week out of my dear vacation at another boarding school, which by the way was not as bad as my school, maybe because it was also a private school. Anyway, a group of young people together, no parents, different platoons, and of-course for we girls we had "boys" and for the boys, they had "girls." We had major fun and learned that being young and a christian was a plus and was cool too; this allowed me to freely love the Lord till this day.
Anyway, that was just side story abi na reminiecing, my friend and i never really reestablished that primary school love, but regardless we remained friends. We both met up in the US of A again and started an adult friendship, we prayed together, belonged to a group she had started of young women dealing with everything-life, relationships, being a christian, etc. That was wonderful too.
Couple of years ago, my friend got married to the love of her life. In spite of the different talk that she was too young, some said maybe she wanted to have sex, but wanted to do the right thing-inside marriage. One time she had asked me to go with her to some guy's b/day get-together, this was her first appearance with the guy's family and she needed back up. The good friend i was, i kuku ma went. Six months or less, down the time, my friend calls me one random day and says she's getting married and would love for me to be a bridesmaid. Now, i can't really remember the engagement period, but i remember us planning for this wedding sha. I went with her dress shopping a couple of times, and bridesmaids outfit shopping too. The wedding was beautiful, couple of friends from primary school reunited, and some from that camp back in nigeria.
Another year and a half later, my friend had her first child, beautiful little girl, first child i saw with her eyes open two days after they had her.
Another two years down the line and my friend is getting a divorce. What went wrong? I don't know. She's a God-fearing young woman, She knows the word of God and bible principles and all that. She's spoken/counselled young girls over a period of time too; so i can't explain what went wrong. Now the problem is that my friend has up to this date not told me a thing. I heard from her husband. Because of some arrangement, i happen to see my friend almost everyday. Should i mention it to her that i know? I'm i supposed to say sorry about your marriage? or just act like nothing is happening.
This morning, in regards to something with their child, my friend's husband told me, can't you talk to her? Isn't she your friend? What am i supposed to say? I'm really not the kind to interfer in people's family affairs, never been married before so i don't even have advice to give.
Anyone has any thots?
7 comments:
Just let her know that you know and what you think. What kind of person are you? You should be able to be honest with her. Afterall thats what friends are for. Supposed to be there for eachother through thick and thin. good times and bad!!!
Hey sweet!
I think she should have told you since you guys are that close. However since she hasnt, it wouldnt be bad idea to ask her and tell her her husband told you about it.
Maybe she just feels ashamed/guilty about he divorce.
Have a great weekend.
princesa...thanks dear, even though my friend and i see daily, we've not really been close for a while now. I have a principle not to get into other people's business and i don't ask things unless i'm told. I've heard it could be a part habit but i do feel uncomfortable talking to her about it. I understand she may feel embarassed or ashamed and will not want to add to the matter. It's a different thing if she had confided in me.
anonymous... thanks for visiting, please bear in mind that i'm a good person if i have to say so myself, I have not pretended not to know with my friend. We've just not talked about it. I just that in the fact that she should be the one to mention it to me, i won't deny the fact to her that i already knew.
Well, since i have more in depth info of this situation...i understand why you are hesitant on discussing it with her but since it seems like they are really heading towards a divorce, i think the inevitable discussion will only get more akward as time passes...think about it, it would come up eventually...might as well get it over with...she will appreciate knowing that she can vent and confide in you.
She is afraid.
She is hurt.
She is embarrassed.
She is confused.
She is not herself...so to speak.
Talk to her...
Be the friend she really needs to confide in.
okay o since everyone is beating around the bush me ba no dey do like that. Before I go advise you on what to do, you need to tell me what the problem is between the two of them otherwise I go just siddon here and keep my advice to myself. Chikena
manuella...tanxs o, looks like the consensus is that i should talk to her, so i guess i will...
simplynuttie...thanks for visiting, i'll talk to her
Ubong da...Truly, i no sabi exactly what went wrong o, but i think they've been having problems for a while sha. See eh, i'm a very private person myself, so i tend not to ask a lot of questions from others unless they are offering the information especially when it comes to private/relationship matters. Talking to her i won't lie, will be really hard for me, but since everyone thinks it's the proper thing to do, i guess i should one way or the other.
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