A couple of days ago, a friend and i were talking about another friend we call "ruth." I'm not sure who started it, but we call females who are so deep into their men "ruths" (abokoku) in translation-ruth who will die for her man.

Well, the conversation shifted from how and why females are like that. My friend clearly admits that once you meet the man you "love and cherish" you become that. Infact, she's in a relationship right now and she clearly admits that if her man was here (it's long distance) we would never really see her. Anyone looking for her would know not to go to her family house anymore but to come over to his place because she would spend all her waking hours with him.

I was later thinking bout the fact and wondering if i'm just wierd, have never truly fallen in love, or it's just not in my nature to be like that because the honest truth is i don't see myself being or doing that.

I hate to make a man the center of my world when his not Christ.

In my entire life and man experience, albeit small, i've never felt and still don't feel like i should treat my man the way those people called "ruth" do. I do hope someone understands the extremes of this "love." Don't get me wrong, I know for sure that my man who will later become my husband will get the utmost respect and attention from me but not to a point where i begin to look silly...

We were at a party one time when another girlfriend's man arrived. The girl jumped telling anyone that would listen "oko mi ti de" - my husband has come, pls excuse me; from that point on, everything became about the guy. The time she used in finding him food, the fact that she would not leave his side and even spoke for him during conversations.

females called "ruth" don't keep any secret or anything away or from their men. Whether it is their's or a friend. I may be wrong but a secret is a secret. It should not be shared with another party...husband or not.

Having said all that, i was going to ask if i was wierd about not being an "abaokoku," but now that i think about it, i really don't want to be one. I do want to love freely but i don't want the guy simply thinking/feeling like his the center of my world!

Yesterday, most places were closed where i am because of some snow storm...on the way out later in the evening, we were having a conversation and someone mentioned what would happen in an incidence of snow in Nigeria...i heard some really funny answers:

Reduction in Population - In other words, many would die. Think about those people that live under the bridge or simply on the straights...or the many handicapped.

Crime Reduction - Since nigerians are not used to snow, doubt if even armed robbers would be able to stand the cold or would want to go robb

Stimulate Economy - lol...geezz...i forgot what the logic behind this was...any ideas?

Migration - people may move back to where they originally belong...i think this also would affect the economy as people would take money back to their home states rather than the big cities...

Increased number of believers - justification for this is the fact that many would either believe that God is angry with us as nigerians...the world may be coming to an end...as such people would begin to believe more in whomever it is they believe...

Igbo women will open their wrappers... i can't explain it...but something about ibo women opening their wrappers meaning they mean business...


Not sure if it sounds funny on here, but it was the way these contributions were said that was funny and the exagerated way...

Ermmm...excuse me, excuse me...

yes hi, can i help you?

hi, just moved to the area, actually i just came into the country and just trying to make friends...i'm hanging out here with my friend, his uncle owns the store...

Oh really, nice...came from where? nigeria?

oh no, Russia, so what's your name?

oh welcome, i hope you're settling down well?

yes thanks, you didn't tell me your name?

oh it's schic

ahhh! you're yoruba? could not have guessed, you look hausa...i'm yoruba too, i'm Ayo...

ok, nice to meet you, sorry i have to run now...

oh ok, sorry to hold you up...maybe the next time you come here i can get your number...

yeah, maybe...i come here pretty often...

(truth is, schic went home that day a little happy, was beginning to think she had "lost it"...apparently, i still got it!)

The Next Time

Hey! Schic right?

right! sorry i forgot your name

Ayo...oh yeah, right...hope you're settling down well now?

Yeah...i thought you came here often, have not seen you in two weeks...

Oh, i've been busy...and have not needed anything from here...

Oh ok, so, can i get your number, maybe you can take me out sometime?

Well, about that, the other time i mentioned you to my husband and he thought maybe he could give you a call to maybe hang out sometime....

you're married? you don't look it...and there is no ring on your finger....

do married people look a certain way? and i choose not to wear my ring everyday, but yeah, i do have a husband at home...

(phone rings at that point)

oh, hi baby, i'm at africana, buying yam, wanted to make porridge this evening, are you on your way home already?

ok baby, we'll probably be getting home at the same time then...later

(Ayo's friend comments) (by the way, Ayo's friend is a really cool guy that runs Africana):

I could never have guessed you were married, you just come in here and get movies and plaintain chips...i've always thought maybe you lived alone and liked a quiet lifestyle...

hmmm, well...nope...i'm married but still live a quiet life...Anyway, Ayo, give me your number, i could have my husband call u up sometime maybe he could show you around...



Ayo did give me his number...

Ok, i don't know why, but i got a kick playing the married woman....hehehehehe....
it was funny to me...My life is a bore! i need excitment!

So i was not thinking so much when i put up my last post, anyone that happens to go to my church and reads my blog probably now knows and can confirm exactly who i am...sad huh...no wonder i'm real easy to find...huff!

Anyway, i'm writing today for a different reason. I enjoy watching nigerian movies because they sort of remind me of home...but i saw one yesterday and was really really upset.

Can someone please tell those nigerian script writers or story writers or casting director...not sure who even handles the matter, but the problem is "please, do not give yoruba names to people who are clearly ibo and have an accent that does not allow them to pronounce the yoruba name properly...(pls note, this is said with all due respect) and vice-versa...

It totally spoils the reality of what i'm watching.

The other problem i have watching them, and this is totally personal, please don't match the really sexy, well spoken guy with some chic that can't atleast speak properly or without me thinking she has something stuck in her mouth or her tongue is not long enough....and vice-versa sha...don't use a hot babe and then just any guy as the leading male role. If both can't speak properly, i would gladly still watch without getting annoyed...

Anyway, i was just a bit worried after watching the movie from yesterday that i figured if i put my complain up here, maybe someone would be kind enough to let them movie people know.

I was tired of looking at the last post...so i put up something else from last sunday....

It's a compilation of my thoughts and thoughts of others who ave shared their ideas that i gound online...i'm going to go back and find the original articles so i can reference them properly...


Today’s service theme is based on a celebration yesterday that the world termed Valentine’s day. The history behind that is a story for another day but if anyone were like me…quite on the “unromantic side,” you would have wondered why there has to be a special day to remember to show or celebrate love…

If you’re in a relationship-married or courting, or even a child to a parent or parent to child, I say whatever happened to being able to throw in a gift every now and then, or just doing something special as an expression f that love? Why wait until one specific day…while the thought of the day is really nice, I think it further propagates the idea of love by the world’s standard.

I’m not sure how many people have ever tried asking anyone to define “love” and you don’t get the answer you really want to hear? You get different kind of funny answers like “you just know when it’s love,” or it’s a wonderful feeling that can’t be explained.”

On the other hand, if you look into the dictionary, you’ll find different definitions but one common thing about all the definition you’ll find is the fact that the definition of love is dependent on something else.

The American Heritage dictionary defines love as an “intense affection for another person based on familial or personal ties” That intense affection usually stems from a sexual attraction for another person, that is, we love people or say we love others when we are attracted to them and when they make us feel good. The underlined word here is the term “based on.”

It implies that our love is conditional; we love someone because they fulfill a condition that we require before we can love them. Even with children, you hear a child after being given a gift be real quick to say I love you to the parent and even as young adults, how many times have you heard or said to someone else, “I love you because you are cute, or I love you because you take good care of me or I love you because you are fun to be with.

In all, we can clearly say that we love based on feelings and emotions that can change from one moment to another and also the reason why many times we say we love someone and after a while, the love just dies.

Ok, so we’ve looked at what people say about the definition of love, we’ve looked at how the dictionary defines love, now, we want to look at how the bible defines love: The honest truth is we can’t exhaust it based on the time we have. There are too many scriptures that back this whole idea of love.

As Christians, It’s simply the basis of our existence! Why do you think God created the world? It was out of this love, this love is the same reason we’re able to wake up each day, it’s the same reason we see a lot of things/mysteries of nature-some as simple as water falls others as complicated as day and night, the seasons, and we’re “wow,” and appreciate them all…the bibles’ definition is love is simple: I John 4:8 simply tells us “God is love!” what about one of the most popular one John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Here, God’s love is defined in the act of His giving. However, what God gave was not a mere gift wrapped present; God sacrificed His only Son so that we, who put our faith in His Son, will not spend eternity separated from Him. If anyone here has any other way to express love greater than this love that was expressed for us, I’ll really love to know. The honest truth is I’m not even sure right now I could sacrifice my life for another person’s.

Another verse about love is found in Romans 5:8: “But God Commandeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Here, and also in John 3:16, we find no condition for this love- an unconditional expression. He didn’t say, well, “I’ll wait for you to get yourself together and come to me, or say “if you promise to love me, or even ask if I give you my son will you love me?” He just went ahead and loved us! I think that’s amazing.

Having said all of that, the bottom line is that Real love is costly. Real love demands sacrifice that can’t be found in self-centeredness. Sacrificial love requires that we give what we value most: our hearts, minds, souls, and strength.

Going back to the passage we read, 1 Corinthian 13…It describes the depth of love, for those of us still wondering about what I’m saying, Love is the very nature of God, and the greatest of the Christian virtues: So it says in Matthew 22:36-38…


Love is essential – vs 2
· It is more important that prophesy. The bible is full of prophecies but combined they are not as great as love; without love, prophecy is useless.
· Love is more important than mysteries – we’re talking about all the unknown, Trinity, Incarnation, etc
· Love is more important than knowledge – this includes the whole range of possible learning: schools, universities, or college degrees.
· Love is more important than faith: faith as a grain of mustard seed would be wonderful, but useless without love.

Love is Generous/sacrificial – vs 3
Giving without love is useless. To give with an unkind spirit or mind is useless. It’s funny because giving is probably one of the common ones we go astray with. Not only in giving money, we’re talking bout-giving time, it’s usually easy for us to say I’m just doing so that they won’t say or so that “they” say…. Imagine how God gave his son even without thinking twice about it. The utmost possible sacrifices of property or anything else is useless if it is not done in love…

Love is able to suffer long vs 4a

This is probably the most outstanding attribute of love…
In other words, love is able to persevere patiently and bravely, is able to be patient, love is able to be mild and slow in avenging, love is slow to anger, slow to punish. As Christians, we will be willing to endure sufferings of various sorts for the sake of others. , Sometimes, it may involve being ridiculed suffer actual or physical loss or even persecutions for the sake of Christ. The bible makes us understand that The Christian journey is one of suffering, God tells us that in this world we will have trouble, but he’ll give us peace, in this suffering, we as Christians must still learn to love. Through this suffering we become matured Christians as all this will pass…let’s look at Romans 8:35-39.

Love is kind
An attribute we all need this days, imagine being in a store and a waiter is rude to you, of-course your first instinct is to say “ what the “heck” and I put it mildly for some…or imagine someone just saying horrible things about you, the first thing you want to do is get back at the person…but there is actually a solution, James 3:13 say “ “who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom.” Let’s also look at 1 peter 2:12…

Love is not vs 4b – 6a

Envious- true love does not envy success, gifts, talents, and possessions of others
Boastful –true love is humble. It does not show off
Conceited – it is not self centered
Rude – True love is courteous at all times
Selfish – True love is not self-seeking, it is sacrificial and generous
Provoked – True love is not irritable, it is not easily angered…
True love does not delight in evil
True love does not dwell in sin.

Love is
Truthful – it’s honest regardless…
Sustaining, it bears all things, it does not drop under strain, and it does not run away
Trusting –
Hopeful
Enduring – it endures through time, and even death
Successful – love never fails

Love is Eternal; it will outlive everything else, prophecy, tongues, and knowledge.
The bible says Heaven and earth may pass away but love will abide…

Now, I may have said a lot, and maybe some have even gotten lost in all my rambling, but just as a reminder, if you’re wondering
how much and amazing God’s love is: Jeremiah 31:3 – God loves you with an amazing love, a love that endures through all time.

The cost of this love was Calvary: I John 4:9-10 - God sent Jesus to pay the penalty for our sins

It doesn’t matter how many wrong things we have done in the past, Jesus loves us and is waiting with open arms to receive us.

And even though we may be going through some hard or difficult times, God promises that nothing can separate us from His amazing love!

Having said all that, to understand the depth of this amazing love, and the peace of mind that also comes with it, and be able to truly love others, we must know God, by establishing a relationship with him.

If there is anyone who does not have that relationship, or anyone who thinks they have strayed away from that relationship, even as we all rise to pray, let us meditate on the reassurance that God loves us. Let us thank Him for that love, ask him to open our eyes to each evidence of the love, no matter how small; and pray that re establishes or restores us to Himself so that we may begin to bask in that love.

An additional prayer point is taken from Ephesians 3:17-19
“May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is.”

Let us ask God to help us discover the heights, depth, width and length of his love to the extent that we will become speechless.

Womiloju!!! Womiloju!!! Womilenu!!! Wominimu!!!



Omo Oloriburuku...the child never hears when she's being called!



Maaaa...Womiloju finally shouts....i'm coming ma!



foolish girl! how many times do i have to call you before you hear and answer me...



E ma binu ma, i was in the toilet...



Well, go and pack your things, you're going to iya Kano....since you won't read, "olodo oshi" all your mates are moving ahead, you can't pass one class...me i can't keep you again, you're going to go live with iya Kano.



Ahh...maami, please i don't won't to go...i will try school again....



ahhh...abi "awon aiye se omo yi ni?" jo, go and pack your things and you will follow ahmed tomorrow morning to catch the bus to Kano.



Womiloju cried her eyes out and begged but to no avail....two days later she was with iya Kano learning how to make ogi and to sell...which she did very well for 4 months...



After 4 months, just when she was settling down,Womiloju is sent again to Abeokuta to go live with maami's niece who has a 3years old child and is expecting another.



Womiloju, lo pon omo wa funmi...Womiloju, lo ra iresi wa, Womiloju lo gbale yara, Womiloju lo gba eko wa ni odo iya risi wa...Womiloju was sent on endless errands...climbing up and down over 40 stone steps about 6 to 7 times a day....



The day after maami's niece had her baby, 3 months into Womiloju living with them, she was called back to Lagos.



Womiloju, o ma lo ko ise. you will learn to sew...from now on, you will go to iya Bamiji every morning and come back at night...by 3 weeks you better be able to sew...if u can't i repeat, if u cannot at that time...o ti rogo!



Womiloju did learn and became really good, she got her freedom 6 months later and maami bought her a sewing machine...



Womiloju started making progress in life, she got married and had her first child, while she was expecting her second child, something happened that prompted her to go see an uncle that was a doctor... the uncle sent her to another doctor...an ENT...results came out after some tests...



Womiloju was deaf in one ear...that's the reason she could never pass in school...she never heard what was being said in class....the classes were too large and she sat at the back...she was able to hear at home because everyone around was generally loud when talking....

a different path was chosen for her...her destiny had been changed just because no one paid attention....



Womiloju is 54 years old now, came to america for the first time...in her wildest dreams, she never thought she would come abroad...her children have brought her here to visit....



I thought her story was really inspirational...

It's so hard keeping up with blogging these days, i honestly just can't find the time...i have different things in my head and say i'll come blog bout it but then by the time i do find a little bit of time, i forget what i was going to blog about....

I was going to blog about the hilariousness and popularity of the yoruba movie called Jenifa...As in, that girl deserves an award for real...

Anyway, i had a really wierd dream last night and thought i would blog bout it before i forget again...Funny it was a really detailed dream too...not sure if it happens to anyone, but it was as if at one point i was pulling out of the dream back to consciousness but i forced myself back to sleep so i could continue and finish the dream...lol...sad huh?

Ok, so get to the dream already abi? well even before that- background to my dream is based on the issues i've have been blogging about...i've been hearing different kinds of stories that is funny sha...also coupled with the fact that there is a bit of marriage buzz around me. My cousin and a very good friend of mine got engaged this new year and so the buzz...my friend's wedding is in about 6months and i'm heavily involved in the planning...i'm even MOH sef....infact, i went to sleep last night after a telephone conference with the bride and the head planner-bride's sister in-law...already, there is drama that i wish not to be involved in especially since it's something as ridiculous as aso-ebi (family clothing)- how many different ones? these group of people want their own while another group want another one and so on...anyway...that was what i slept thinking bout....

My dream, now i've forgotten the full gist sef.... somehow was sha that me too i was getting ready to marry...lol...honestly, only people who really know me would find the fact that i'm marrying funny...infact the guy had proposed and all that only to find out during the planning that the guy is married and with kids sef...as in, young guy, nothing to indicate or prompt me to that before...we had been dating for atleast a year...not once had there been any sign of him being married....he didn't have to call anyone, travel anywhere and all...

Well, i remember there was one part where he was just in a living room just sitting down looking when some older pple from his home were breaking the news to me...he insisted he still wanted to marry me though...that that family was not real...anyway...think the last thing i remember was me just crying that why would something like that happen to me of all people! lol

I thought it was realyl funny....lol