A couple of days ago, a friend and i were talking about another friend we call "ruth." I'm not sure who started it, but we call females who are so deep into their men "ruths" (abokoku) in translation-ruth who will die for her man.
Well, the conversation shifted from how and why females are like that. My friend clearly admits that once you meet the man you "love and cherish" you become that. Infact, she's in a relationship right now and she clearly admits that if her man was here (it's long distance) we would never really see her. Anyone looking for her would know not to go to her family house anymore but to come over to his place because she would spend all her waking hours with him.
I was later thinking bout the fact and wondering if i'm just wierd, have never truly fallen in love, or it's just not in my nature to be like that because the honest truth is i don't see myself being or doing that.
I hate to make a man the center of my world when his not Christ.
In my entire life and man experience, albeit small, i've never felt and still don't feel like i should treat my man the way those people called "ruth" do. I do hope someone understands the extremes of this "love." Don't get me wrong, I know for sure that my man who will later become my husband will get the utmost respect and attention from me but not to a point where i begin to look silly...
We were at a party one time when another girlfriend's man arrived. The girl jumped telling anyone that would listen "oko mi ti de" - my husband has come, pls excuse me; from that point on, everything became about the guy. The time she used in finding him food, the fact that she would not leave his side and even spoke for him during conversations.
females called "ruth" don't keep any secret or anything away or from their men. Whether it is their's or a friend. I may be wrong but a secret is a secret. It should not be shared with another party...husband or not.
Having said all that, i was going to ask if i was wierd about not being an "abaokoku," but now that i think about it, i really don't want to be one. I do want to love freely but i don't want the guy simply thinking/feeling like his the center of my world!
3 comments:
"I hate to make a man the center of my world when he's not Christ."
Well said! However, I think God does want your husband and your family to be the center of your world, but of course there is a way of achieving that without behaving like the "Ruth" in your post did. I will give my husband and children no reason to doubt that I love them and they are the most important things in my life, but I will also maintain a sense of who I am and be "selfish" and take time for me too.
When it comes to keeping secrets, I have had to accept that anything I tell my married friends, their husbands will also know. I'm not sure why this happens but it seems to be inevitable. I have personally said that I will not do the same when I get married (meaning I intend for friends to be able to trust me (alone) with a secret), but I wonder if the reality will be true. I'd like to think so.
Hey GNG, very well said...i think we share the same sentiments...pls understand that i do understand my husband's role as my spiritual head...but there is just something not very right about the "ruth" idea...
Wow, interesting post. Good one in fact. I hate 'ruth's'. for someone that is in their first real relationship. yes being open and honest with your man is a must. But one MUST also have their own lives. I hate girls that smoother their men it irritates me. Be yourself. yes give him food at a party but then be on ur way. be able to show that you can hold your own.
As per secrets. hum... that is tricky, i personally am a very open individual..to an extent. but if a friend tells me something in confidence i will respect that. I pray i will never be a ruth.
Like you said my husband is not Christ he is your husband i will respect him and love him.
again great post
Ag
Post a Comment